I'm ba-ack

I'm having deja-vu, making this trip back to FL so soon.  The humidity here in AL already has my grown-out hair-do looking like a wild mess!  Buzz cut?  jk honey!  I left Madison on Friday, early afternoon, with Tequila and Willow in the trailer, my Dad as my driving buddy, and Michael, Willow's human, following hauling his RV.  Friday night we stayed in Mt. Vernon, IL with a really nice woman named Tracy.  The horses had a little pasture to stretch their legs in.  Tracy bred French Bulldogs, and had a litter of pups, 4 weeks old.  So Cute!!!  She appeared to be a responsible breeder, and had very nice dogs.  Saturday morning, we were on the road by 6:30 (ugh) but had a little setback.  The trailer brakes on my truck kept reading OL and were not working.  With some putzing, they would work for a brief time, but then would act up again.  We ended up locating an RV dealership in BFE, IL who found a broken wire on the trailer.  A quick repair, and we were back on the road.  The horses were very patient through this delay.  

Saturday night, we stayed with some family friends of Michael's in Birmingham, AL.  Sisters, Marilyn and Diana were very hospitable.  The horses once again had a lovely paddock, and we had a spaghetti dinner, showers, and beds.  I have to say that all of my layover stops from the first trip and this one have been amazing.  The people we stayed with that weren't friends, were all found on www.horsemotel.com.

I have been reading Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell per Pat's recommendation.  It is a pretty quick read, and interesting, about why certain people are successful, and what factors other than hard work are involved.  I don't feel too anxious about my arrival in Parelliland, though this time will not be like the other trips!  I am glad to know some other students, Michelle, Bekah, and Michael who will be getting educated with me.  

getting settled in

The adjustment period hasn't been made easier by the several days of sickness I've endured :(  Some kind of upset stomach, tired, achy, headachy thing.  I think it's fading.  I haven't seen Tequila since I got back on Tuesday.  I've been trying to catch up on bills, taxes, household animals.  I suppose he could use a few days to resettle as well.  But starting Tuesday, I will be spending horsey time with Tequila and Lady 4 mornings a week for 3 hours.  This is set in stone!  The first order of business is taping some footage to accompany my application to Pat's Mastery program.  Then, taping an on-line audition by March 1st.  It's time to get that green string taken care of!  Geez! 

Rosie, Our Golden Retriever had to have a hematoma removed from her ear flap on Thursday.  I've been battling chronic yeast hypersensitivity since she was 4 months old.  I've treated it with steroids several times and it returns within 10 days of discontinuing them.  She's seen several holistic veterinarians, had acupuncture, chinese herbs, dietary therapy, etc.  Some things help, but nothing has ever given her complete relief.  She is currently on a course of oral and topical steroids and an antibiotic since her ear has an incision which is draining and quilt like stitches to help the flap heal together again.  I'm also going to test her thyroid levels.  Even though it would be unlikely at her age and she shows no other symptoms a thyroid disorder is still a possibility.  I'm hoping to make an appointment with Chris Bessent from the Milwaukee area, and I'm also considering trying homeopathy.  She is such a great dog though, and everything I went looking for in a Golden Retriever.  It just goes to show the pitfalls in buying a purebred dog even when you try to choose wisely from a reputable breeder.  

Packing the bubble

Sorry about the gap in posts.  My fourth week at the Parelli Center was an intimate time.  Returning to the real world is daunting.  I have come to love the growth that happens in the safe environment created here, and I am really scared of not growing further, or even regressing.  In the past, when I've left the Center, I have not done a god job of honoring my journey.  It has shown in my relationships with those closest to me, it has shown in the management of my daily activities and schedule, and it has shown in the painfully slow development in my relationships with all my horses.  So, I have really been preparing all week for my return.  If you see me walking around in a bubble, do not be surprised.  I will be trying really hard to carry my Parelli bubble with me at all times.

   I have left with Pat my application for the Mastery program!  Aaron and I have had much discussion about the process of becoming an endorsed Parelli Instructor.  I feel so ready for this challenge, and our relationship is now ready as well.  Having Aaron on board is not only necessary, but also icing on the cake for me.  I am so pumped to take on this challenge and his faith helps me go there.  

I think I will continue to blog here on my horsemanship progress.  If anyone has any questions about the Center and what it was like to be there, feel free to ask me!  I'd love to share.  One of my hopes was that this blog was able to give you a little insight to what a Center experience is like, and hopefully inspire you to go there.  I know it is financially hard, and hard to get the time away.  It will come back to you tenfold.  

I put my shoes back on

      Farrah and Michelle have been running around in these wacky shoes!  They are called Vibram five fingers.  They look like gloves for your feet.  People notice them everywhere we go, so I have heard the explanation many times.  They allow you to protect your feet from the ground, but don't inhibit natural foot function.  The human foot was designed by evolution to carry us.  Conventional shoes basically immobilize the foot, and don't allow it to function at all.  Then start adding in heels and lifts and arch support, and these additions start to cause compensations through the rest of your body as you try to balance your feet.  Their explanations included such wondrous changes in their bodies such as breathing deeper, improved posture, improved flexibility, etc. and all literally from the moment they put them on.  I will admit that I was skeptical.  Surely they were exaggerating.  Yesterday Lori, my Mom and I went to try them on, and lo and behold, we all left with a pair.  They really are quite amazing.  My feet felt like they were coming out of hibernation.  The first afternoon I wore them, I literally felt fatigued throughout my body, and literally immediate release of tension in my lower back.  My posture walking out of the store was that of the woman my Mother has been trying to produce for years, usually by using her thumb in my shoulder blade.  So this was all cool, until today when we had an outdoor session and it was pouring rain.  I took of my Vibram five fingers and put back on my boots.  IMMEDIATELY my lower back knotted, and spasms shot up into my shoulders and neck.  Standing square felt awkward, and as I reached down to pick up a pen on the ground, my knees bent and twisted.  5 minutes earlier with the Vibram's on, I could touch the ground with the palms of my hands and did not have to bend my knees at all.   COOL!    

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Foggy mornings

It rained today.  Overall the week was hot and humid.  Often, a thick fog filtered through the ranch in the early mornings, but the sun burned it off pretty quickly.  Kristi was right...the middles can be so hard.  But as hard as times this week were, great friendships were made, old friendships were refined, and being self-aware has taken on a whole new meaning.  My relationship with Tequila continues to be very good.  I believe that he is allowing me to explore the other areas in my life that I need to apply the principles of PNH to.  It is time, it is necessary, and I am ready.  The fog is lifting. 

     There's an amazing thing happening in America this weekend, and I'm not talking about the superbowl!  This weekend is the first Celebration event in TN.  Besides being the first event of it's kind, this event is very important in other ways.  Pat and Linda will be unveiling huge changes in Parelli.  Here at the Center, we know nothing, but there is huge anticipation of the announcements.  All these changes for the better will be posted on www.parelli.com as of Sunday.  I, personally, cannot wait, so I've been catching the play by play updates on twitter. For those of you who don't know, go to www.twitter.com  It is a free site where you can recieve continuous information from Sue and Niel directly from the Celebration. 

     My parents are coming this weekend!  After some hindrance from the weather, they will be arriving Saturday and staying through Sunday.  I'm so excited.  They don't get a chance to see me play with my horse very often, and my Dad takes awesome pictures, so look for some to be posted here and on Facebook soon!   

reminder

We focused on zone 5 driving yesterday.  First with one line, then two.  I stayed on one, to refine a little, and make sure I could suggest things rather than ask, tell, or promise.  It was great to be reminded of the steps towards getting there, and not just put on two ropes and hang on!  I also attended a farrier prep session and was reminded that the root of the relationship building is indeed Level 1 with excellence.  It's not about the farrier (or natural hoof care practicioner ;0)  

     What does L1 with Excellence mean to you?  It has been one of those phrases that I've been blowing over.  It has not meant that much to me, until now, when I am ready to let it sink in.  Even though I had done a lot of farrier prep in the past,  I saw holes that directly related to my zone 5 driving, my haunches in finesse riding, and my driving game.  Pretty cool!  Tonight, I'd like to make a list of what L1 with excellence means to me.  Then I can see where I need to take it to.  

     

on-line begins

Yay!  Kristy Smith is our instructor.  She was in the 10 week school with me in 2005, so I know her somewhat more personally.  I am so excited to learn from her :)  If you ever want an example of someone who committed to a goal, it is Kristy.  She is honest about her journey and it's ups and downs, so it makes it very special to have her facilitate my journey.  I know she's really put her heart into it.  

     Yesterday was really nice.  Lori and I took Victor and Tequila to the outdoor arena and turned them loose for a while.  They grazed, kicked up their heels for a while, and then Tequila and I had a really great liberty session, and a bridleless ride.  Very fun and relaxing.  As of today, no more riding.  When you're in an online or liberty class, they want you focusing on those Savvys.  Today was downright hot!  80 degrees!  We had a demo of the 7 games and what they should look like in L4, which was really helpful.  Then I did a session with James Roberts on porcupine game in the sensitive zones such as ears, tail, hocks, etc.  I've done all these things, but I have been really looking at the quality of what I've been getting.  Porcupine game in general is good, but I got some introversion when leading by the ear.  I used a lot of retreat and within minutes, he was totally on board.  I also found a hole in zone 1, with leading by the lip, and when playing with falling leaf and backwards S.  Tequila could act like more of a partner and follow the feel rather than avoiding it.  It has been and still is really helpful to keep the feet moving.  It's gotten rid of a lot of introverted moments, and is building his ability to go forward with purpose.  Today, he actually let out a few mighty bucks while cantering on the 45 ft.  Usually he does not get engaged enough for such things, so it was cool!  

      I'm still trying to build good habits of staying focused in the moment, and taking that away from the barn.  I definitely need some more emotional fitness.  I am such a cry baby!  Seriously!  A Hallmark commercial can do me in!  Sometimes when I cry I am RB, and I feel as scattered as I look.  Other times, I just need a release.  If I'm going to ask my horse to be more mentally, emotionally, and physically collected, I really need to do the same of myself.  

      Today, I caught some of the assumptions that I made with my horse, but I missed some I made with my husband.  denial, blame, anger, chaos ensued, mostly directed at myself!  In order to offer your partner the best deal possible, you have to be able to be in the moment with yourself too.  Something to play with....    

A less dramatic post :)

Yesterday was a pretty non-horsey day.  We met Merlin, and brought him home to Gene and Irene's.  Merlin is a chocolate lab that Lori is adopting.  Gene and Irene are Lori's Dad and stepmom, and who we're staying with.  It has been fun, because I've been able to pick my Mom's brain more about dog behavior.  Merlin is very grounded, mellow, food-motivated, and friendly.  He is the quintessential lab!  I think Lori really lucked out in finding him.  There was a moment of worry because the previous owners had been found, and we're thinking of taking him back.  But I guess they lost their job and couldn't afford him.  Merlin helped Snowball, Gene and Irene's American Eskimo, become a little more socialized and comfortable with other dogs.  They met each other very politely, and are fast friends as of this morning.  

     Last night we had dinner at the Melting Pot.  It is a fondue restaurant and it was delicious!  You can pick out different cheeses with bread, apples, and veggies for the app.  Then you can pick a salad.  I had a spinach mushroom salad.  The meats come on a tray with different flavors of broths to cook them in and tons of different sauces to try.  Then dessert was the best with choices of melted chocolates, dark, white, peanut butter, and fruits, cheesecake, brownies, marshmallows, pound cake to dip in the chocolate.  YUM!  We we're with a group of 9 people, and conversation was easy with the layout of the table and presentation of the food.  It would be a really fun place for a birthday or other sort of celebration.  

weekends are for recharging

    You come here thinking you can't get enough, and two weeks in, you're overloaded with insights, bfos, revelations,  and bewilderment at how you've gotten so far with so many holes!  The difference for me during this trip is that these realizations aren't sending me into a downward spiral of guilt and inadequacy!   Positive, progressive, and natural takes on a whole new meaning when you start to actually enjoy this journey.  There will be a time when you're ready to stretch yourself in the ways your horse needs you to.  Only then will you start to earn his heart.  

Doh! I missed it again!

It was the finale of our Natural Performance course today.  Linda came and had an open QnA session.  She's so awesome!  It just blows me away how hard she and Pat work to develop PNH for us.  They have become really good at utilizing their network of family and support, delegating while keeping the program close, always looking for ways to innovate PNH, and still progressing with their horsemanship.  When I look at my struggle to keep my cup full, and I see how Pat and Linda have made that a priority for themselves, I am inspired.

I missed myself making an assumption again today with my horse.  It is so hard to train yourself to recognize that denial stage before it turns into chaos.  What it comes down to is honoring my horse.  In our horsa-personality groups, I've found it helpful to allow myself to be proud of the aspects of being a RBI.  I need to recognize my horse's needs, whatever they may be in the moment.  Rather than seeing him as having a problem, and trying to make him more confident about this or that, I must remember his only problem is with my leadership!  The positive traits of his horsenality are what keep him meeting me at the gate every morning.  Awesome!  

In our LB moments, we've been playing with the steps towards laying down, and Spanish walk.  He picks his feet up so high!  Gorgeous!  

 

pictures

I'll try to keep posting some pictures.  Does anyone know how to make the pictures not come up on this main page?  Like make a photo album or something?  Anyways, these are several of my classmates and instructors, and a few that show parts of the ranch.  I'll keep looking for things of interest.  

it's ballroom dancing night...

And I will be participating.  It's not like I dislike these things.  I know I will have fun once it gets going, but somehow, my draw to them doesn't grow.  It's the same deal with simulations with other people.  I guess I have a big bubble unless you're my husband or my animals.  But it's a good crowd to get into each other's bubbles with!  

Today was lead change day, and we put together all the parts we've been developing this week.  Tequila and I rode in the demo this morning.  It went great.  He was light, happy in the bridle, upright, and very "cute" says the crowd.  We played with all the pieces, and can see where we need to fix it up now.  

I am so looking forward to online week!  I have been playing with his RBE needs and it has taken less and less time every day to prepare for riding.  Today, he actually seemed happy to be able to move out on the 45ft. and came quickly to a point where he wanted to connect.  I can see how handing over his responsibilities at faster speeds is going to be so beneficial. 

Today we had a horsemanship QnA with Avery and Kristi, and on Tuesday, there was a Parelli QnA that Pat actually hosted.  There's lot's of changes, of course, but really for the better.  Auditions sound like they will be more fun and accurate.  The Savvy Club will really be a valuable learning tool, and the instructor development program more diversified.  I have no doubt that quality will not be compromised in these changes.  I can't really divulge any details, but it will all come out soon on the website.  

     

  

Putting it all together

I love Wednesdays!  On Wednesdays, the focus is on leadership.  Last week it was the most difficult day and I went through a huge learning curve, but this week I was so excited to explore it more.  Focus and leadership are entwined.  The handing over of 51% of the leadership to your horse, needs to be a decision, and a decision to take it back when your horse needs a leader.  Your focus keeps you in the moment with your horse, so you can feel when they need this exchange, and when they're ready for their responsibilities.  I have been playing with finesse this week, but recognizing when Tequila needs a freestyle break, or a focus me RB break, and then be able to return to finesse.  I had a session today, that had good parts, and not so good parts, but it was so focused, and I could actually figure out what to play with when things weren't jiving.  COOL! 

OOH!  I am building some awareness of my own fluidity, and how to stay out of Tequila's way.  I had the lightest haunches in and shoulders in that we've ever had today.  Half-passes are working, but much easier to the left than to the right.  Lift that hip girl!  

Today was monumental because I actually removed a shim from my Theraflex pad.  Tequila has come up so much in his front end, that I was too high in the front of my saddle.  He is uphill!  I was watching him trot out today on the 45 ft, and he is just floating, powering from behind, elevated in the front, barefoot and in tune with his body.  He is using his body better than he ever did with all the equipment, gadgets, bits, weighted shoes and pads, and  other s*** I tortured him with.  Even as I learn more about his emotional needs, I know he couldn't be changing physically if he wasn't becoming calmer, smarter, and braver.  I am so thankful for my horse's forgiveness, which he gives me every day.  I promise you that not a day goes by that he doesn't fill in for me.  I think that goes for any true partnership, even between humans.  I know Aaron fills in for me all the time.  He's a great husband and I am lucky to have him.  

the only difference is your location

Yesterday was a mellow day, and I needed that because my head was really cluttered and disorganized...kind of like the buick.  The difference between riding and being on the ground is simply your location.  Feedback from one scenario can be applied to the other.  I have been feeling a pit in my stomach about riding, eventhough I have been doing a little of it every day.  I realized that while riding, I am feeling his RB as soon as it enters his body, while online, I am missing it until he is mentally and emotionally already well on his way.  So, naturally, I wasn't feeling comfortable in the saddle because he is going RB every 30 seconds! It has made me aware of how much I'm missing on the ground.   We rode through it using patterns and keeping the feet moving, and I was able to recreate the exercise that really stretched us earlier last week.  We did much better.  Great focus on my part allowed us to have a pleasant ride, even with ups and downs.  Great focus once I return to the "real world" can keep the journey positive, progressive, and natural.  Using the natural power of focus is a human responsbility.    

We played with some finesse on the hill playground, and I got great mobility in the ribs and a good banana topline.  Tequila fatigued a little quickly, but offered me all the building blocks, so I was really happy.  It was great to actually analyze my finesse.  Since it's my most comfortable Savvy, I tend to go on feel, but that sometimes doesn't allow me to recognize where I'm blocking him specifically.    

   Yesterday, I went shopping.  I spent too much money ;0  but I got a sweet pair of cowboy boots, and a pair of Wrangler jeans that are super comfortable, and stretchy.  Apparantley there is an RCC western store in Milwaukee also.  My sis and I will be hitting that up when I get back.  Anybody up for a road trip for some Cowgirl gear?  

GORGEOUS day!

It's a very warm (70) sunny day here in FL.  I spent the morning doing computer stuff, and planning for The Horse First Farm with Lori and Farrah and Michelle.  We have so much to do and plan!  The time from Midwest Horse Fair to our grand opening at the end of May will be crazy!!  So, I guess I'll enjoy my time here while I can ;)  I'll go hang with my horse this afternoon, but kind of take it easy.  We have finesse week coming up, and we played quite a bit yesterday.  We had a great bridleless ride in the 75ft round pen, got a voluntary water crossing with the promise of an apple, AND all 4 ft. on the pedestal!  There are two main play areas, one being a hilly open playground with some jumps, carwash, pedestal, bridge, and trailer.  The other is called the enchanted forest and has many large trees, so it offers a lot of shade, ponds and a stream, jumps, bridges, carwash, a large arena, and a couple large round pens.  There are two honeycombs to play with.  For those of you who aren't familiar with a honeycomb, it is a series of 4 50ft. round pens inside of a large round pen.  There are lots of opportunities for practicing patterns and riding in enclosed areas of varying sizes.  We're going to build a honeycomb at The Horse First.  

     My complementary half, Aaron, is holding his own in blustery WI.  He's doing such a great job taking good care of the animals.  I think my houseplants might even still be alive when I get back!  His spirits are up, and I am so grateful to have his support and even encouragement.  Thank you honey!

      I am really making a concerted effort to be aware of other's personalities through the horsenality filter.  A big realization I made (Aaron, you'll appreciate this) is that I have trouble getting out of my head, or my own little world, and Tequila does the same.  He's a loner in the herd.  Though we're happy there, we can grow by being able to be more present with others.  Applying this idea to my roles with the people around me is overwhelming, but exciting.  OK...maybe I'm not excited, but interested in exploring this.  

going forward

Say what??  Tequila a right brain extrovert?  Come again?  I opened my eyes to it, stopped making assumptions about him and there he was, needing to move his feet, be focused, and given a pattern.  The whole shebang.  Yesterday I saw it, today I allowed him to be it.  It was uncomfortable for me, it was new territory for the relationship, and it was liberating for him.  An unsolicited look from my horse carries weight because I know he is seeing me as I have seen him...without a filter, as we are in that moment.  SO!  On a lighter note, I hope you are all well, and not frozen.  I am hiding in the computer room blogging because I didn't want to participate in the ballroom dancing class in the lodge.  Not my thing, being the right brain introvert that I am;)

Looking forward to the weekend because I have so much to digest already!              

It was great...if you like that sort of thing

I had one of those days, where I was left on the playground in the late afternoon, wondering if I was competent enough to get my pony back to the pen. And..I do like that sort of thing. I pay good money to be sent to the edge of my comfort zone and stretch it. As Pat and Linda are my leaders, I have to remember that Tequila is waiting for me to be his. Still waiting...The most easily led, willing, compliant horse ever is forever performing for me. A follower and a follower can end up going a lot of places together; safe places anyways. At the edge of both of our comfort zones, however, we're both RB extroverts careening through our emotions. I will be playing with the handing over of leadership. If I offer him 51%, does he trust himself enough to take it? Does he trust me enough to believe that I mean it? Do I trust myself to make these leadership choices? Oh today was a great day...

It rained all day!

I know, I know, the weather is still worse in WI, so I won't get any sympathy.  The mornings are classroom, simulations, etc. so we stayed dry, though we still had to feed, clean pens, and console our soggy ponies this morning.  We have been isolating our core muscles every day with the exercise balls, and I think I'm going to feel it tomorrow!  In the afternoon, I was scheduled to play with patterns and purpose, but I skipped it for the Bit Savvy that was in the classroom.  Tequila was not into playing in the rain, and neither was I.  I got some great info though, and lots of questions answered about the Cradle bridle, and more developments in bridling.  Afterwards, the rain actually stopped, so I ungeared my horse, and we had a fun, though a little adrenaline filled session on the 45ft. line in the playground.  My biggest realization today??? I MISS MY HORSE!  I don't nearly see or play with him enough, and I can't continually escape to FL in order to do that.  So, Tequila (and Lady and Ben and Napoleon)  I am recommitting.  As John Barr said today, take care of your horsemanship and it will take care of you.  Speaking of faculty...We have great instructors!  A class of 11 Level 3/4 students get to have Avery, Berin, Jesse, and Terry Sprague all available to us throughout the day.    

I have no idea how this works

Ha ha!  I hope this works, because I would love to share some of this experience with my friends and family.  Any advice on blogging would be great, because I'd love to share pictures and links as well on here.  I'll try to post a few times a week.  I'll start by just describing the scene around me.  I'm on my mac, along with 4 others.  There's wireless in the lodge, so as students and faculty trickle in, I can keep in touch with the outside world fairly easily.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are provided, and are fabulous!  Healthy choices abound, including fresh fruit, a full salad bar, a hearty meal of Beef brisket, baked potato, asparagus, and a vegetarian meal.  Down the table, Lori, Farrah, and Michelle are discussing some interesting x-rays of the internal structures of a horse's feet, and how the problem can be approached while keeping the horse barefoot.  Since it's our second day of class, students are looking for new faces to sit by at dinner, so as to meet new people and share their excitement.  Inevitably, they are expressing to each other a fantastic, but very simple moment that they had with their horse today.  Or perhaps they're sharing a BFO (blinding flash of the obvious) that they had about themselves, which very well may not be horsemanship related at all.  As we all know, this program is not about the horse and all about the horse at the same time.